I'm a person just like you, but I've got better things to do.

There's Pepsi in that cup, I swear

If you're a senior in high school and/or a college student, you've probably been on a college tour. They're pretty straightforward- some kid that goes to the school that's in question takes a group of bright-eyed high schoolers and their dutifully notetaking parents around campus while giving a really broad idea of what college life is like. The student that leads the group must be multi-talented, like walking backwards for extended periods of time, wearing tacky polos, and asking a lot of stupid questions.

One question that is always brought up on these tours, usually by a parent with their first kid going to college, is the drinking situation on campus. The student leader usually just smiles and gives the safe, not really lie, of "Oh! Well, not everyone drinks! And we have very strict guidelines if underage drinking occurs!"

Kids that don't go to college, I have to let you in on a little secret: underage drinking occurs. A lot. Drinking in general happens a lot. And I'm not just saying this because I go to Rutgers. Every college that allows alcohol on campus has (underage) drinking going on. There's also people smoking pot behind the buildings, taking painkillers that are not prescribed to them, and making generally bad mistakes.

Of course, it's different going to a college that has alcohol on campus and be a veteran edge kid at the same time.

For those that don't know, straightedge is a lifestyle that originated in the punk scene. The philosophy is pretty simple: don't drink, don't smoke, don't be a whore. Notable straightedgers include the band, Minor Threat, which a lot of people cite as the originators of the movement, Davey Havok from AFI, and that dude that broke edge, Pete Wentz (breaking edge obviously meaning ending your straightedge-ness). While sometimes straightedge kids are self-righteous assholes, we're overall pretty good times.


See? Me being fun times.

Anyway, being straightedge at college isn't really hard. I have a lot of friends that drink and while there's alcohol and they say I can have it, they respect that I don't do it. However, they will use my birthday and personal milestones as an excuse to drink for themselves (I'm pretty sure they're planning a "Donna's done with Accutane!" party soon enough). It's kind of like religion or veganism or whatever- if you really believe in it, you're going to keep up with it. Even if there's an abundance of alcohol, especially when you're a girl and you can get into any frat based on the fact that you wield a vagina. (EDIT: This is in reply to the fact that girls can get into frat parties based on our female-identified status, thanks for pointing that out, anon!)

However, being straightedge in college is definitely different. Initially, I didn't say that I was edge. I didn't really know how people would react. In high school, I didn't party. I'm still that nerdy girl that would rather pass her time with close friends watching bad movies and dancing to nineties pop. So being straightedge was all right in high school. It wasn't weird, because my friends really didn't party either, at least until junior/senior year of high school. So I said I didn't drink and I couldn't drink anyway, because of the acne medication I was on (Accutane messes up your liver function, so you're strongly recommended not to drink while on it). But as the months went by, I began to realize that when my medication was over with... I was totally going to have to just say that I'm not going to be drinking when I'm done with my medication, either.

It felt kind of like coming out again, really. Because it sort of was, I guess. One of my friends proclaimed that when I was done with my medication he was going to get me shitfaced, and I told him, "Uh, no. You're not. I'm straightedge." And he sort of went, "Oh, okay. That's cool." And that's it. Sometimes my friends were a little disappointed when I told them about my status. One of my friends claims that I'd make a fun drunk, which I'm not really sure how I feel about that, but he's content with me being sober and able to make sure the world doesn't end while everyone else is intoxicated.

So, I've realized what us straightedge kids grow up to be: mommies.

It's kind of hilarious, actually. We become designated drivers, soda stealers, and confidants when our friends start to get so drunk they lose their filter. They puke on us, they cry on our shoulders, they try to kiss us unexpectedly, and then we laugh about it later. And what's even more hilarious is that sometimes, we're the only one that really remembers that time that one of our friends started talking to a couch.

I still get invited to drink sometimes, but most of the time, my friends point out how glad they are to have someone that's a little more there than everyone else around, which is kind of cool. I have found my role in my social group. Being straightedge at a party school is totally doable and if people can't handle it, then clearly they shouldn't have been edge in the first place. So to my straightedge brothers and sisters- I raise my red cup of Pepsi and toast to all of you! You all have guts!

And of course, I want to know via comments if you are the straightedge kid, or if you have a straightedge kid in your group, or if you even need one! Speak :D

Sorry the first post is very tame. Whatever. I'll get snarkier as this thing gets more established.